


tenentes infinitum

by klancesvlds



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Lance, Gay Keith, Gay Shiro, Leo - Freeform, M/M, Not A Happy Ending, Previous Allurance, adashi, allura is dead already, broganes, delilah allura, delilah and leo arent canon, idk how to tag, klance, klance wedding, klangst, pidge is a tech geek, the paladins are back on earth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-27 05:48:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19784509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klancesvlds/pseuds/klancesvlds
Summary: His eyes, they used to shine so bright.____"Keith, do you believe in infinity?" / "Perhaps."tenentes infinitum: holding infinityinspired by this one fairy tail fic i read.





	tenentes infinitum

_All we’re looking for is love, and a little light._

_____

“I’m home.” 

Adam Wilde looked up from where he had been slowly stirring a broth. “Hey, are you okay?” 

Shiro offered him a tight-lipped smile, making his way over to his husband to peck his cheek. “Yeah… well, you know how the Garrison is,” he answered, grabbing a spoon and dipping it into the soup. “Mm, this is good.”

Adam slapped his hand away, causing the spoon to clank on the tiles. “Dinner’s in thirty, can’t you wait a little longer?” 

“Nope,” he replied shortly, wrapping his arms around his husband’s waist and nuzzling his nose into his neck. “In fact, I think we should eat this now, so I can eat my real meal in thirt-”

“Daddy!” A cry was heard as the pattering of little shoes echoed towards them. A little figure burst into the kitchen and collided with Shiro’s body, full of energy and life. “You’re back! I missed you. Let’s go play now!”

Shiro couldn’t help but smile at the little boy, who was tugging incessantly on his pant leg. He crouched down so he was closer to his son’s height. “Not now, Leo. Papa’s almost done with dinner, and I’m hungry,” he muttered, poking the little boy’s stomach. 

Adam sighed. “Go play with your Voltron figurine until dinner. Papa has to talk to daddy, okay?”

“But I don’t wanna!” Leo stomped his foot, crossing his arms. “Daddy promised to play with me when he left this morning!”

Adam stared at the toddler in front of him, pursing his lips. He had zero tolerance for tantrums, and Leo knew that. He just liked picking a fight. Stubborn boy. “Now, Leo. I won’t ask again.” 

Leo glared at Adam for a few moments, before finally _hmphing_ in defeat. “After dinner, daddy?” Shiro nodded, regaining his full height and patting the crown of his curly blond hair. Leo seemed to accept that answer, giving Shiro a toothy grin before bounding off. Maybe they should’ve named him Taurus instead of Leo. After all, his stubborn streak was his least attractive quality.

Shiro glanced at Adam, opening his mouth to ask what was wrong. Adam beat him to it, licking his lips before: “I’m worried about you.”

“What?”

Finally turning around to face his husband, Adam reached up to cup Shiro’s face, smoothing his thumb over the scar on his nose. “I’m worried about you, Shiro.”

“Why?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Adam shrugged helplessly. “You don’t laugh anymore, love. You barely even smile.” 

Shiro’s head tilted to the side, his eyes focusing on the loose tile in their floor. “That’s ridiculous.”

“Is it?” Adam murmured, drawing his attention back to the man in front of him. “Shiro, smile.”

“Why?”

“Just do it.”

Shiro loosened his grip, drawing back from the embrace. He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. God, that bottle of whiskey looked really good right about now. “I can’t just do it on command.”

“No,” Adam said softly, his arms falling limply down to his sides. “You won’t. You won’t anymore.”

His eyes fluttered open, glancing at the man in front of him. Adam looked miserable. “I can’t deal with this right now.”

The brunette nodded once. “I expected that.” He turned back to sprinkle some salt in the soup. “Oh, and Pidge called. She wants you to call her back.”

Exhaling, he grabbed the whiskey bottle, not even bothering to take a glass with him as he moved towards the office. “Great. I will. Give me a second.”

He barely heard Adam’s call of “Take your time!” before he had shut the door completely. Unscrewing the top of the bottle, he sank into his chair, surveying all the paperwork that he needed to finish tonight. He quickly threw back a sip of the golden liquid as he waited for Pidge to pick up, welcoming the burn in his throat.

“ _Hello?_ ”

“Hey, Pidge. It’s Shiro.”

“ _Oh, hi. How are you?_ ”

“About as fine as I can be. And you?”

“ _Just stressed, you know_ ,” she laughed.

“For what?”

There was a pause. “ _Matt’s wedding is this Sunday. You guys are still coming, right?_ ”

“Oh… oh, yeah! Of course,” he stammered, nodding his head vigorously as if Pidge could somehow see him. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” But his tone was lacking enthusiasm. He hoped his friend wouldn’t take it the wrong way.

“ _Okay…_ ” There was a very audible sigh. “ _Um, anyways, that’s not why I called. I just wanted to tell you that I finished the film of Keith and Lance’s wedding. I’m sorry it took me so long_.”

The former Black Paladin’s eyes lit up. “That’s the best thing I’ve heard all week. When can I see it?”

_“I can send it to you right now, if you want. You’re the first person to watch it.”_

“Why am I the first?”

_“I…_ ” Another pause. “ _I wanted you to show it to Keith and Lance._ ”

Shiro stiffened.

_“Shiro?_ ”

Shiro took another swig of the whiskey, savoring the taste on his tongue. “I’m still here. Are you sure?”

_“Yes.”_

“Alright. Thank you, Pidge,” he nodded, exhaling slowly through his nose.

“ _Anytime. See you this weekend!_ ” A click sounded as the line went dead. 

Shiro didn’t waste anytime, moving the bottle to the side as he pulled out his laptop. A link to a video was already in his email. His mouse pointer hovered over the blue line, and he bit his lip before clicking on it.

A title appeared on a black screen: 

_Keith Kogane and Lance McClain_

_A Classic Fairytale, but Gayer_

Shiro choked, coughing on the alcohol he had just sipped. He’d recognize Pidge’s sarcasm anywhere. Lance would definitely like this. And Keith… he’d probably just sit there gobsmacked, not knowing what to make of it. 

Keith appeared on the screen, his face dangerously close to the camera. _“Hey,”_ a voice said from the other side of the camera. It sounded like James Griffin, but he couldn’t be positive. _“Are you drunk already?”_

Keith’s face morphed into one of extreme offense, and then his cheeks flamed. _“Not drunk!”_ He shouted, louder than he should have, and pointed his index finger at the camera. _“Just tipsy, y’know? I needed to, ‘cause if I didn’t, I’d probably ruin my own wedding!”_

_“Aw, Keefy, are you nervous?”_

_“Don’t call me that!”_

Shiro felt wetness on his cheeks. Odd. Reaching a hand up, he wiped at it with the heel of his hand, hoping it would go away. Tears. That’s what it was. He could taste the salt on his lips.

By the time his eyes refocused on the screen, Leo was almost to the front of the church aisle, where he gave the flower basket to Hunk and promptly climbed into Adam’s lap. Lance followed shortly behind. The camera blurred for a moment, a quiet _shit_ coming from James. When it was focused again, it was turned to Keith. He had this look on his face as he watched Lance with a soft smile. Shiro knew exactly what he was thinking. He’d had the same look on his face on his wedding day. 

Keith reached out, grabbing Lance’s hands to draw him near, the smile on his lips never disappearing. If Shiro remembered correctly, they had made a bet before the ceremony, in which whoever started crying first lost.

“ _I_ _now pronounce you Mr. and Mr. Kogane-McClain. Congratulations!”_

Shiro heard the cheers as the newly wed couple leaned towards each other, touching their foreheads together. Keith was intentionally blocking out the whistles and calls from the crowd, but Lance’s cheeks burned as he whispered something into Keith’s ear. Keith chuckled, and Shiro drank in the look of pure happiness on his brother’s face. 

He was actually glad that Pidge had cut out all of the boring official church stuff. During his wedding, Adam, who hated church with a passion, actually _fell asleep_ on his shoulder. Of course, Pidge didn’t skip that in her film. Keith, who never missed an opportunity to try and anger Adam, made a point to tell that story to Leo every single time he came over.

Lance raised his arms, turning towards the crowd. _“I couldn’t tell. Who started crying first?”_

There was a scoff as Keith planted a kiss on his cheek. _“You, obviously.”_

_“Veronica!”_ Lance shouted. _“You were our judge. What’s your call?”_

“ _You lost, Lance,_ ” his sister snorted.

Lance whined. _“No fair! You’re just biased towards Keith ‘cause you think he’s hot!”_ Veronica’s mouth fell open and her cheeks turned light pink as Keith raised an eyebrow at her. She crossed her arms in an _X_ , scooting closer to the Galran on her right. Axca removed her girlfriend’s arm from her shoulders, and turned to glare at Keith. 

Keith laughed again, the sound ringing out into the empty room where Shiro sat. Lance took one look at his newly betrothed and clutched a hand to his heart. Keith, not one to miss even the smallest of motions, glanced at Lance strangely. “ _What’s wrong?”_

“ _Oh, nothing_ ,” Lance murmured. “ _You’re just bad for my health, that’s all_.”

Keith screwed his eyebrows together in confusion. “ _But I don’t want you to be sick_.” 

Lance gaped at him like a fish. 

Shiro choked, both in the pews and in his office chair. 

There was a quiet knock at the door. “Yeah?” Shiro called. 

“Didn’t you hear me calling you for dinner?” Adam poked his head through the doorway. “You’re crying. What’s wrong?” 

Shiro wiped at his cheeks again. “I’m just watching Keith and Lance’s wedding film.”

Adam clapped his hands together. “Oh, Pidge finished it then? That’s great!” He rested his elbows on Shiro’s shoulder, pointing at the screen. “Look, Mr. McClain is about to start his speech.”

Lance’s father stood on the stage, taking the microphone from Krolia. He tapped it once, jumping back in surprise at the loud noise it made. Adam snorted against Shiro’s neck. 

“ _Um, hi, everyone_ ,” he started, ringing his hands in front of him. “ _So, I despise public speaking, but Lance insisted that I speak. Something about his mother’s being too long or something.”_

A faint whine was heard from Lance as, if Shiro remembered correctly, his mother hit him on the head with her napkin.

“ _Anyways, let’s cut to the chase. When I first met Keith, he was climbing up to my son’s window using a vine, wearing only his boxers.”_ Mr. McClain tilted his head and withdrew a piece of paper from his vest pocket. “ _And when he saw me, the first thing he said was,”_ Mr. McClain used the opportunity to draw quotation marks in the air, “ _Sorry, sir, you probably don’t remember me, but me and your son go way back… anyways, my brother Shiro kicked me out of the house without any clothes, and so right now, I’m climbing to ask Lance, who is my friend, may I add, absolutely nothing more, if he will lend me some.”_

The camera shifted to face Keith, who was shielding his red face with his fingers. “ _Stopppp_ ,” he groaned. Lance poked his forehead.

Mr. McClain tucked the paper away again, patting his pocket twice. _“So, here’s to being friends, and absolutely nothing more!_ ” He winked at Keith, handing the microphone to Shiro. 

“Oh, look, you’re about to speak!” Adam’s breath hit the back of his neck. Shiro nodded, wetting his lips and inhaling as he saw himself pat Mr. McClain on the back before taking a spot on the stage.

Shiro could remember very clearly how extravagant Keith and Lance’s reception had been. Linen tablecloths, outstanding food (courtesy of Hunk), and a bouquet of pink juniberry flowers on every table, almost as an offering to Allura. The fairy lights surrounding the flowers caused a hue-like glow on the faces of the people gathered around each table, and also made the radiance of Lance’s Altean marks to become more pronounced. Pink and blue. It always reminded Shiro of cotton candy, but to Lance, the surreal light dancing around the reception room was Allura’s acceptance and love.

“ _Keith. My little brother_ ,” Shiro started, biting his lip as he narrowed his eyes at Lance. _“When we were younger, I never thought anyone would be stupid enough to put up with his antics, much less marry him_.”

Shiro managed to duck at the last moment as a wine glass soared past his head, crashing against the wall behind him. Shiro pointed his finger at Keith, who was trying to hide his smile against Lance’s shoulder. _“You’re paying for that_!”

“ _No way!”_

Lance threw his head back, his eyes twinkling merrily, throwing an arm over Keith’s shoulders. Keith grumbled.

“ _Anyways_ ,” Shiro continued, “ _It’s true! Keith is the most hotheaded, stubborn boy I’ve ever met. For example, he once got his head stuck in my mailbox. Don’t ask me how it happened, I have absolutely no idea.”_

Adam ran his fingers through Shiro’s hair, raising his eyebrows at his husband. “You were rough with him,” he mused. Shiro scoffed.

_“But, Keith’s willingness to give and receive love is unlike anything I’ve ever seen in anybody else. He’s a precious man, and Lance was the only person able to see through his weirdness and exclusiveness to get a real chance. Lance, I’m so glad that you met Keith. You’re one of the kindest people I’ve ever met_.” 

Lance raised his glass in Shiro’s direction.

Keith glared at his brother. “ _I_ _bet you a hundred dollars that you’d never say that about Adam_.”

_“Stop interrupting. Plus, Adam isn’t kind. Ask anyone.”_

Another glass crashed against the wall behind him, but this time, it was Adam who was hiding behind his hands. Keith guffawed, slapping his palms against the table.

Shiro turned to look at his partner, who avoided his gaze. “I don’t remember that.”

_“And Lance, ever since he met you, Keith has been challenged to do something he’s never had to do before. He had to get over himself, and he learned to trust others. You taught him that. You made him grow up in ways that I never could. You made him want to have a future. And for that,_ ” Shiro added, raising the microphone towards Lance. “ _I thank you. He’s a gem, Keith. Don’t ever let him go.”_

Shiro blinked as Adam reached in front of them to pause the movie. “Dinner time, love.”

“Okay,” he muttered. 

Adam grabbed his hand and squeezed gently. “Why don’t you invite them over tomorrow to finish it? I’m sure Leo would love to see Delilah.”

Shiro nodded, nuzzling his nose into the warmth of Adam’s shoulder and wrapping an arm around him. 

Adam laughed, pulling away from Shiro. “Dinner,” he reminded gently. 

“Let me just call them, and then I’ll be out.”

Adam nodded, leaving the door cracked open as called Leo from upstairs.

Shiro wiped his rosy nose with his hand. He was sure he looked like a mess: tear stricken cheeks and puffy eyes. He finished the last sip of his whiskey as he waited for someone to pick up the phone.

“Hey, Lance … How are you doing? ... Yeah, I’m okay, same old stuff, y’know … Can you come over tomorrow? Pidge finished the movie … Yes, of course … Does three work? ... Okay, perfect, see you then.”

_____

The first thing Shiro noticed as he reclined on a small sofa by the window was the weather. It was a gloomy Saturday. Thunder rumbled in the distance, and dark clouds huddled together above their small cottage. Shiro felt that it was almost like the sky was trying desperately to hold back tears.

Threading his fingers through Leo’s short locks as he read the last sentence of a picture book to him, Shiro heard a weak knock on the front door. Adam came rushing from his office, wiping his hands on his pants. 

“Hey, Lance!”

Lance stepped into the hallway, hugging a small bundle to his chest. Every time Shiro saw him, he looked worse. His skin was paler, and his eyes held an empty look that mirrored Shiro’s. His breathing even seemed shallower. “Hi,” he murmured. “Um, how are you?”

“Uncle Lance!” Leo flung himself against Lance’s legs. “Can I hold Lala?” 

Lance nodded, kneeling beside the toddler and placing the baby carefully into his arms. 

Adam herded Leo into his office, glancing over his shoulder once to shout, “I’ll watch the kids. You have to show it to Keith, anyways.”

Lance looked at Shiro expectantly. “Let me just go grab my laptop, and we can go before it rains.”

_____

They walked along the narrow path in silence, listening to the thunder in the background, and the crows squawking their harbinger for doom. 

“How’s Delilah?”

Lance exhaled and shook his head. “She still won’t eat much. I guess that she misses him as much as I do.”

Silence fell back over them like a veil. It was suffocating and miserable. Keith would’ve know the right thing to say to make them cheer up. Or, maybe not the right thing, but at least something so awkward that it made them laugh.

Laughter was missing from their lives. _Happiness_ was gone from their lives, and neither Lance nor Shiro knew how to get it back.

Turning the corner at a break in the fence, they quickly found what they were looking for, both having memorized the path in just the short months since the accident. 

_Keith Kogane_

_1994-2019_

_Beloved husband, father, friend, and brother_

Shiro sat down criss cross on the gravel, like a child trying to please his teacher. Lance mimicked him, rubbing his thumb over the engraved name on the tombstone.

“Keith, I don’t know what to do.” The tears finally began falling from Lance’s eyes. “Delilah still won’t eat, and I feel like I’m failing her, because you were always so much better with knowing how to get her to do things. And she misses you so much.” He paused. “I miss you.”

“Are you ready to start it?”

Lance nodded.

Shiro chose to watch the black clouds hover above for the parts he’d already watched. There was no reason for him to watch it again. He knew he would just end up ugly sobbing, like Lance was.

He contemplated life, and its unfairness. People had been telling him that for years, but he’d never fully grasped the subject until he heard that Keith had died. It was one of those things that he’d nodded to and brushed past.

Life wasn’t fair. 

Keith shouldn’t have died. 

It was Shiro’s fault, he supposed. He was the one who had asked him to pick up Leo from school. Well, Lance is at fault too, right? He told Keith not to buy a motorcycle, but had relented when he saw Keith’s look of pure joy when he first saw the bike.

But at the end of the day, he blamed Keith the most. He shouldn’t have been driving the motorcycle to go pick up Leo, anyway. He could’ve killed the little boy along with himself. 

But he didn’t. He’d shielded Leo with his body, so that his nephew would be okay. Like the damn hero he’d been trying to be since before their Voltron days. You mix his love for heroics with the thrill he got from taking risks, and you’d think someone would’ve prophesied his death sooner. 

But no one did. No one thought he’d die, for he’d always preached about his uncanny luck. 

His luck had run out. And when he was gone, all he’d left was an indescribable hole in the hearts of the people who’d loved him.

20/20 hindsight was a bitch. 

Shiro blinked as Lance nudged his shoulder. 

“ _Let’s take the Black Lion out for a spin, Shiro!”_

Shiro watched himself shake his head. _“No way. I’m still mad at you for interrupting my speech.”_

Keith turned back to his brother, pouting. Lance let out a strangled laugh as Keith’s cheeks puffed out in annoyance, a trait that he had gotten from Krolia. “ _You don’t love me anymore?”_

Shiro spluttered. “ _How does being mad at someone mean you don’t love them? You’re my brother, of course I love you.”_

_“If I wasn’t your brother, would you not love me?”_

Shiro in the video pretended to think for a moment. “ _Yeah, probably not.”_ Keith gaped at him, then punched his shoulder with enough force to cause Shiro to stagger back. _“I was just kidding. Quiznak, that hurt. Keith, listen to me._ ” Shiro sighed, rubbing the heel of his hand against the spot. “ _No matter what, I’ll always love you, and I’ll always be your brother.”_

Keith grinned. 

Lance leaned closer to his brother-in-law, cupping his hands around his mouth to whisper into his ear, “I’m glad he had you.”

“I’m glad he had you, too.”

Keith’s face appeared back on the screen. He was fidgeting with his blue bowtie, a habit he often portrayed when he was nervous. “ _Um, so, Lance, when you see this, I don’t want you to… err, judge me. Because I’m drunk, but I’m sorrrryyy. And, um, I love you, and we’re married now! We should have three babies, at least, and_ …” The person filming covered his mouth, and Keith flailed, trying to get their hand off his face. 

Pidge cackled, coming up behind Keith to flick his head. “ _Sorry, Keith, but you and Lance are two males. You can’t have babies_.” She gave a thumbs up to the person behind the camera, before flitting back into the crowd.

Keith tore the hand off of his face. “ _Dammit, Matt, why’d you have to do that?”_

_“Had to stop you before you said anything else that was stupid,”_ the person recording — Matt — replied.

Keith eyed the camera. _“Anyways, Lance, if it’s a girl, we should name her… Oh, I know! Delilah Allura, after your sister and Allura, duh!”_ He paused. _“And if it’s a boyyy… we’ll name him… hmm, I don’t know. Let’s think of one together, Lance!”_ He grinned at the camera.

Lance reached out, his fingers brushing the screen. “Together…” he murmured. He turned back to Shiro, digging his nails into the palm of his hands. “I’m sorry, I can’t… We’ll watch the rest later, m’kay?” 

Shiro didn’t watch him leave. He didn’t have time to cater to Lance’s despair, especially when it was so hard for him to keep his own under control. 

He reached out, soothing his fingers over Keith’s name. “Do you like it, Keith? Pidge worked hard to make it.” He exhaled, closing his computer as the end credits rolled over his screen. “Hunk is right. You’ll never be forgotten. Because you’re right here.” He flattened a hand against his chest, his heart beating a steady rhythm below his skin. “Your memory is immortal, as long as you remain with us, and we believe in you.”

_“Hey, Shiro, you promise to never stop loving me?”_

_“I promise.”_

_“No matter what happens?”_

_“For infinity.”_

_____

_“Shiro?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_He glances at the night sky and inhales deeply. “Do you believe in other worlds?”_

_“Perhaps.” He smiles. “Keith?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“Do you believe in infinity?”_

_He tilts his head and looks at him. There’s a smile playing at his lips._

_“Perhaps.”_

{ If there’s no one beside **you** when your soul embarks, 

then **I’ll** follow you into the dark. }


End file.
